Christian's Inferno
by entwined-in-a-web
Summary: Christian grew up in Jimmy's shadow. So when he dies, Christian must take over meaning handing out drugs and no interaction with the clients...until he meets his match. REVIEW PLEASE!
1. East Jesus Nowhere

**A/n: OK NEW STORY! SORRY THIS IS CAPS MAKIGN IT QUICK! I NEED TO LEAVE SOON!**

**SO, THIS AN OC WHO IS NOT REALLY AN OC SINCE BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG HAS PREVIOUSLY OWNED THE NAME!**

**SO YEAH!**

**JUST READ!**

**BYE!**

**REVIEW PLEASE!**

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN SHIT!**

The countless disciples line the streets, waiting for their savior to come and rescue them, deliver them into the nonchalant drug-induced nirvana. Their red-rimmed eyes searched frantically for their release, the only thing that will save them. That savior?

That's me.

My name is Christian. Just Christian. That's all I've ever been known by around here. Where's here? Nowhere. Just east of fucking nowhere. I've lived here since as long as I can recall…

_I had to be about twelve. It was late and I was on the street, alone, by myself…. I ran away from that fucking orphanage, the place I had been shut up in since my parents were killed. I couldn't be there anymore. I was gone. I had to find my family, the place where I belonged. I had to be on my own._

_I was walking along in the city, jumping at every noise I heard, no matter what it was. I had no idea where I was or where I was even going. I was lost again, wandering into an alleyway. I swore I could hear footsteps behind me, heavy ones…a man's. I kept walking like nothing was wrong, but then I felt a hand grab my shoulder, turning me around forcefully. _

_There was a man, ratty and pale. His eyes were frantically searching me for God knows what. He pushed me against the wall, glaring into my fretful eyes._

"_What's a kid like you doing out so late?" I didn't know what to say. I was frozen. "Not talking?"_

"_I…I…" I began, but it was greeted with another strong shove against the wall._

"_Just give me your money, kid, and no one gets hurt…" He slowly pulled a knife out from his pocket as I stammered._

"_I…I…don't-!"_

"_Put the kid down, motherfucker!" a voice yelled from the other end of the alley. I swear the figure I saw was like a god. It was a young man, probably no older than 18. He was decked in all black, his hair included. He glared down at the man who still had a hold of me, pulling a gun out from behind his back and pointing it in our general direction._

"_You're not, gonna shoot me, are you, Jimmy?" the man asked the boy with almost a laugh of disbelief._

"_You wanna try me?" The boy said matter-of-factly, cocking the gun._

"_You wouldn't. I taught you everything you know."_

"_Put the kid down." He growled once again, not putting the gun down, even after the man had dropped me flat on my ass. _

"_Leave, Jimmy…."_

"_I don't think so…" He cocked the gun again and pulled the trigger. All I saw was the blood spattering and the man falling simultaneously with the gunshot. I stood there, wide-eyed staring at the horror in front of me. The boy looked up from the mess, remorseless, looking over at me. "What the fuck are you staring at?"_

"_I…" I began, not finishing out of fear._

_He sighed and grabbed onto my arm, dragging me out of the alley. "C'mon, kid…" I wouldn't budge. "I said c'mon!" He sighed yet again. "What? Are you scared?" I nodded silently, terrified to be going anywhere with this boy carrying a gun. "Look, kid…" he started as we left the alley. "He would've killed you anyway. I did you a fucking favor. Now let's go before someone sees…"_

_That was the first time I met St. Jimmy._

This used to be Jimmy's route. I remember. I would follow him. But Jimmy's dead now…so it's my job. I'm the savior now, the fallen angel thrown from Heaven, damned to roam this earth until I take my place with Jimmy with my one-way ticket to Hell.

But who knew the highway to Hell could be so glorious? I was a celebrity here. Everyone knew me. They knew me as Jimmy's Boy and just That Kid. They looked to me with bloodshot eyes like I was a beacon of light in a storm. They knew that the legacy established here would live on….

But maybe that was about to change….


	2. Jimmy Died Today

**A/N: More of this! =D**

**Sorry guys,..i can't update this or anything else for a while cuz I'll be in Italy and Greece til. The 27****th****! =D**

**So pumped!**

**So please enjoy!**

**REVIEW PLEASE!**

It had been about a week since Jimmy died. I sat at the funeral service in my uncomfortable black suit right next to Jimmy's sister Maddie who was crying her eyes out. I wanted to comfort her. I wanted to cry myself…but he always told me not to. So I didn't. I felt so ashamed of myself for no reason. I hadn't been in a church since I made my First Communion when I was seven. My parents were hardcore Christians…hence my name. I felt like I didn't belong here. Like I strayed and was being thrown every criticism in the book as I came back.

The minister continued to blab on, just reading what a few people had thrown on a piece of paper about Jimmy. Nothing personal about him at all. Nothing about what a truly remarkable person he was, the gentle heart behind all that black. Nothing about how he saved my life. Nothing about how he was so in love with that guy who decided to come into our lives. Nothing.

None of his family even showed up, except for Maddie. The only people there were his friends, loyal followers, and me. Maddie sat to the left of me, Whatsername to the right. I never thought she would come to Jimmy's funeral. The two of them hated each other, especially since he randomly decided one day that we were going to crash at her place permanently.

"_Jimmy, get the fuck out of my house!" She screamed at him, pissed off. I remember being terrified, thinking that she was gonna kick us out again like she had done a few times in the past._

"_Oh, come on…" He tried to persuade her with a smirk, leading her away from the couch, where I decided to sit. "You let me crash here all the time. What makes this any different?"_

"_Oh, I dunno…maybe the fact that you'll just be a permanent freeloader with no fucking life!"_

_I yawned loudly, stopping the conversation. I decided to lay myself down on the couch, closing my eyes to rest. They toned their voices down and continued with their banter._

"_Like you have a life yourself…" he shot back at her angrily._

"_Well, mine is at least better than yours!" she lowered her voice even more. "Look, if you wanna stay on this path, then fine. But I will not let you drag this kid down with you!"_

"_He would've gone down anyway. The kid has no idea where's he's even fucking going, he's been shut up his whole life."_

"_Well maybe you should get your ass out of here and leave him alone!"_

"_So you want me gone?"_

"_Just take the both of you and get out of my house!"_

_He looked over at me, peacefully resting on the couch, he cracked a miniscule smile and turned back to her. "Just look at him. He's already asleep. You don't want to wake him up and kick him out, do you?"_

_She looked over at me and sighed. She knew she would eventually regret her decision, but she gave in anyway. "Fine….you can stay, just….don't get in my way."_

"_Will do…" he said with a wink. "Now let him sleep…"_

_But what they didn't know was that I wasn't sleeping at all…._

The minister finished his speech and before I knew it, the service was over. That was it. We wanted to give him a private burial, no one else but us. We left the church into the freezing January air, my hair blowing into my eyes. I didn't even care. I just kept walking.

I looked over at Maddie, who was still crying as we walked to the curb, Whatsername calling for a cab. She looked down at her wrist, staring at the thick black band around it. It was Jimmy's before he died. The night before it happened, he gave it to her. Like he knew what would happen the next day….

"Christian, get in the car…" I heard Whatsername scold as loudly as she could. I snapped out of my trance and realized that the other two were already in the cab, waiting for me. I nodded and slid myself in, still incredibly silent.

"How are you holding up, kid?" Whatsername asked. I was always called that by her. Like how she's called Whatsername by me. I just shrugged, not a single word coming from my mouth. "Christian, we know you're upset-"

"I'm not…" I mumbled quietly.

"Yes you are. You were practically his son…"

"I said I'm fine!"

She backed away slowly, nodding her head, not wanting to get involved. She knew how I got when I got angry. They all knew. The rest of the car ride was silent. No one said a single word. Not even Maddie's sobs were heard…. Dead silence. Dead….

"_Jimmy, what are you doing?" I asked frantically, seeing the gun clutched in his shaking hand._

"_It's my time, kid…" he quietly muttered just barely loud enough for me to hear._

"_Wait! Jimmy!"_

_BANG._

I stood at the foot of his grave now. Right below me in the ground was the man that I called my brother, my only family, my only friend. I fell to my knees, overpowered by emotions for the first time in years. My trembling hand rested upon his cold gravestone. James Anthony Vincent. That's what it read. I felt a hand on my shoulder as I gasped and turned around.

There was Maddie, her sobbing finally done. She looked right at the grave and whispered, "I'm so sorry, Christian…"

"No. I'm sorry for you." I brushed her hand away from me. "He was your brother…"

"He was yours too…"

I closed my eyes and attempted to calm myself down before I gave in to my emotions. "Can I have some time alone, Maddie?"She nodded and got up quietly, allowing me to have my moment. I sighed and looked around awkwardly before quietly speaking.

"Jimmy, I don't know what to do…. I'm lost. They want me to take your place. I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I can be the heartless, soulless dealer that they all need me to be. Give me a sign, Jimmy…"

Right as I said that, I heard a branch snap from behind me. Shooting around again, I saw it was a girl. She looked around my age maybe younger. She had long blonde hair down to her navel, streaked with fat lines of green. She just looked….perfect.

"Hi there…."


	3. Viva La Gloria

**A/N: So I wrote most of this on the plane ride home! I didn't expect it to be so long…but I like the way it turned out!**

**Heheh….like the names? *glares down at her Green Day shirt from Greece* I think Tre agrees.**

**Whoever finds the Next to Normal reference gets a prize (just not bears…maybe some bakery)! That for now will go unnamed! To win said mystery prize, you must review!**

**SO REVIEW!**

The girl's eyes remained on me. Her bright, haunting blue eyes… She was smiling at me, her angelic face rising in jubilation. Why was I so drawn to this girl? Maybe she was my sign from Jimmy. "Sorry…." She apologized, her sweet voice ringing once again. "Did I startle you?

"N-No….I mean, yes-I mean no!" I seemed to stutter.

Why was I acting like this? Like a fool….Like Jimmy…

_I sat in the living room, waking up in my usual couch-bed. Whatsername had a guest room set up for me, but I never slept in it, considering that one, Jimmy had taken it over anyway for his own sexual escapades, and two, only God knows what went on in there. And I didn't want to find out._

_The room seemed unusually quiet for a Saturday morning. Usually it consisted of whatever girl Jimmy slept with the previous night storming out and then him and Whatsername screaming at each other for a good few hours at a time, not even stopping to breathe. Things were different since Johnny left. Johnny was Whatsername's ex, Jimmy's little play thing. Jimmy loved being around him. They were best friends, going clubbing every night and getting stoned and drunk off their asses. It was his wish come true….and I was jealous._

_I heard a voice at the door, familiar and awful. It sounded like…like Johnny. "Wow…I can't believe I'm here again…"_

"_Yeah, I know. I bet she's saying the same…" Jimmy's voice rang, the sound of his usual laughter following._

_My mind came up with so many explanations for this since it was just so weird. The top scenario was that they went out partying as always last night and Johnny was just bringing him home himself just to make sure Jimmy didn't hurt himself or anything. Yeah. That sounded good._

"_When am I gonna see you again?" Johnny asked rather quietly. What was that supposed to mean? Did he really miss him that much?_

"_Whenever it's possible…Don't miss me too much, Johnny Cakes." Johnny Cakes? What the hell was that? What was going on?_

"_What happens if I do?" he said with an obvious smirk that could be heard through his voice._

_Jimmy let out a chuckle and lowered his voice to a seductive whisper. "Then I'll have to fuck you so hard you won't be able to see straight." _

"_I think I like that option…" Johnny smirked again. What the fuck was happening?_

"_Good. Because so do I." _

_Then I heard silence for the longest time. What was going on behind these doors? Jimmy and _Johnny?_ A guy? I ran to the door, not caring if Jimmy killed me late. I needed to find out. I opened it and there they were. Kissing. Jimmy's tongue was practically down the boy's throat…I wanted to vomit._

"_What the fuck?" I shouted, startling the both of them, the two of them jumping at least ten feet in the air and pulling apart._

"_Christian, what the fuck are you doing?" Jimmy angrily scowled at me, staring me down. "Get inside. Now."_

"_Not until you explain to me what's going on!"_

_He sighed and looked to Johnny, grabbing onto his hand like they were lovers. "I…I had sex with Johnny last night."_

"_You did WHAT?" I screamed louder than I should have._

"_And I think I love him." He loved him. He LOVED him. The St. Jimmy I knew wasn't capable of love…he didn't even love me. He never told me, at least._

"_How?" I questioned him. "How did that happen? Why would you put him before me? I'm practically your son!"_

"_You know, you fucking brat, the world doesn't revolve around you." He glared again, moving in closer. "For once in my life I'm happy. Can't you respect that?"_

"_I wasn't good enough for you?" I challenged him, moving threateningly closer to him. "You had to go run off to find a replacement? Just…God! Why don't you love me?"_

_He grabbed onto my arm violently, twisting it in his black-tipped claws, causing me to yelp like a puppy getting kicked. "Don't you fucking threaten me!"_

"_Jimmy…" Johnny tried to interrupt for my sake._

"_Leave me the fuck alone!" I shouted, squirming in Jimmy's persistent grip, feeling hot tears running down my face._

_I heard footsteps from behind me, a tired groan as the door was now infiltrated by a new person. "Jimmy?" I could tell it was Whatsername. She wearily rubbed her eyes and got a better look at the scene. All she had to see was Johnny and my tear-stained face and she was pissed. "Jimmy, leave the kid alone!" While I had the chance, I darted from his grip and ran to her, my arms hugging her body, hiding my face in her shoulder. "What the hell is going on? Are you insane?"_

_But he didn't answer. He just walked away…_

_They say love is blind. But believe me….love is insane._

"Hello?" the girl called, snapping me out of my little trance. She had a strange look on her face like I was insane.

"Sorry..." I apologized, looking embarrassed already.

"Do you zone out like that a lot?" She asked, smiling at me.

"Sort of…" I was done with Sappy Christian mode. I was Normal Christian now. Tough Christian. Emotionless Christian.

"What brings you to a graveyard then?" she inquired with a look of curiosity and pity.

My eyes glanced over to Jimmy's freshly dug grave. "My friend…"

"I'm sorry…"

"S'ok…." I finally looked up at her again. "Why are you here?"

"My dad's buried here…" she explained, avoiding my eyes at all costs now. "He died when I was seven."

"I'm sorry too." I tried to comfort her. She looked so miserable. "Jimmy died a week ago."

"How?"

I hated revealing how Jimmy died. It hurt. There was nothing I could do to stop it. "Shot himself."

"That's awful…" she sighed, finally looking up at me. "I'm Gloria."

She held her hand out to me as I muttered, "Christian."

"I like that name…" she told me, smiling and staring into my green eyes. The green of my eyes matched the green in her hair. Beautiful…

"Where do you live anyway?" I was curious. I wasn't being creepy. I liked this girl. I could get along with her. I had to keep her here with me. No matter what. I needed her. I needed someone who understood me like she did.

"Down on East 12th Street. You?"

"Me too." I chuckled and looked at my feet. "We're kind of like friends then."

"I guess…" she concluded happily. "You're my first friend here then. I just moved."

"I take that as a compliment." I grinned. Where was all this coming from. My brother, my mentor, my father practically just died and I stood at his grave. Being everything he told me not to be. Was this any way to pay him his last respects? Never.

"Christian!" I heard a voice call from behind me. I jumped, alarmed by its loudness. I turned around to find the source and I saw it quick enough. There was a man around Jimmy's age. His blond spiked hair and black rimmed, bloodshot eyes have a crazy look as he waved a black tipped hand at me. I knew this man. His name was Gerard. He was one of Jimmy's old customers, a regular too. He always liked me and I always liked him back. He was one of the only ones who did. He hurried over to me, giving me a tight hug and then turning to the graved for a few seconds with a solemn look.

"I can't believe he's really gone…" he sighed, turning to me and placing a hand on my back. "Hey, kid. I've been trying to find you all morning. They told me you were still here." I nodded, trying not to look at the grave and cry. "You know what this means now, right?"

"What does it mean?" I asked, getting annoyed already.

"That you have to take his place."

"Take whose place?" Gloria asked, incredibly confused by now.

"St. Jimmy's place." He glared at her like she was an idiot. "You should probably know that by now."

"She's new, Gerard. Leave her alone." I tried to explain to him.

"Yeah, but anyway he's gone now. And the business needs to keep thriving. For all our sakes. And besides, I have total confidence that you'll make a great dealer, Christian."

Gloria's face turned shocked now, jaw ajar. "A dealer? Like a _drug_ dealer?"

"Yeah, chica, what else would I be talking about?"

She backed away from the both of us, her eyes wide and terrified. "I…Christian? Tell me it's not true."

I looked into her terrified eyes, sighing, so disappointed to be upsetting her. "it's true…"

"B-But….but why?"

"It's how I was raised…I was meant to go into the profession since Jimmy took me in."

"The _profession?"_ She questioned. "Christian you're selling drugs! It's illegal! It's not right!"

"Look, Gloria, this is who I am, ok?"

"No! How could you?" she composed herself, looking at the ground and not at me. "Don't expect to see me around. Hope you and your friend enjoy hell." Then she stormed away from me and Gerard. We both sat there in silence, watching her leave for a moment.

"Fuck…" I mumbled. "Goddammit!"

"What the hell is her problem?" Gerard asked, giving her a strange look as she vanished into the distance.

"Just stop….please…"

"Look, kid…she's just new." He tried to explain, sitting on the dewey grass in front of Jimmy's grave. "I was like that at the start too. Nervous. You gotta lure her in."

"I don't want to lure her…" I admitted, pacing now. "I want keep her like this. I don't want her to lose her innocence the way I did…"

"What?"

"I've seen so much in my life…too much. I don't want her to have a broken soul like I do. She's…she's like a snowflake."

"A snowflake…" Gerard said sarcastically back to me.

"Just one little movement and it's gone forever. I can't let that happen to anyone else."

"ok, and the Edward Cullen moment is over now."

"I don't want her to be the next teenage assassin or the junkie standing on the street corner waiting for her fix. I want her to be normal. Herself."

"Look…" He pulled me down next to him. I didn't want to look at him anymore. I was done. "There's really nothing you can do. It's her own choice."

"And she's choosing the right thing by avoiding me…" I muttered, self –hatred lining my voice.

He laughed a little, the first laugh I heard all day apart from Gloria's musical giggles. "Does Christian have a little crush?"

"Stop it….i have a lot on my mind."

"Oh I bet you do…"

I got up from the ground and immediately began to walk away from him. I could hear him groaning in the background, shouting, "Oh, come on, Christian…I was teasing…." But I said nothing. I walked away…

* * *

><p>When I got back home I locked myself in my room. Jimmy's room. I didn't talk to anyone. I just cried. I let it all out finally. I took out the razor that I had been carrying in my pocket all day. I knew it had to happen sometime today. Now seemed perfect. I grabbed the shining silvery object and drew it neatly against my bare wrist, cringing as the familiar feeling of pain and adrenaline and blood rushing out fulfilled me.<p>

Someone once told me to write my feelings out in a journal when I got like this. I did….and I cut. No one ever knew that I did it. I'd been doing it for years and years….

I found my notepad and pen in the room from last night and began to write, being careful not to stain anything with blood.

_Dear Jimmy,_

_I hope you're happy. Now you know what this did to me. I don't want to take this place. I want to be with her. My angel. She's in heaven and I'm trapped in this hell, a fallen angel with broken wings. My fire no longer burns for that need of acceptance. It only burns for her. It crackles her name over and over. All I hear is Gloria. Gloria…. Her sweet voice rings through my ears, singing me salvation. She tried to pull me from the flames, but I can't move. I'm stuck in this purgatory that is my fate. What can I say? You taught me how to live._

_My heart is beating from me. I'm standing all alone. Please call me only if you are coming home._

_-Christian_

**A/N: So yeah! 21****st**** Century Breakdown names. =) And Gerard Canonico is now a major character. Fun stuff.**

**REMEMBER THE PRIZE OF BAKERY!**

**Reviews?**


	4. The St Jimmy is a Spark in the Night

**A/N: Another really quick chapter of this!**

**Hehe….Gerard. I love him. So much.**

**Yepp! So, some more Johnny and Drunk!/Stoned!Christian XDD**

**REVIEW PLEASE!**

I woke up the next to the sound of shouting in the living room. My eyes shot open, heart pounding. The only person who would ever do that was…Jimmy. Was I dreaming? Or maybe the last week was a dream all of it. From the moment of his death until watching Gloria drags my spirits deeper into hell. I begged and hoped it to be one long dream…and I ran out of my bed, into the living room, my wrists still stained with dried blood, not caring now. I excitedly got to the room, a smile on my face….but it faded as soon as I saw that it wasn't Jimmy.

Jimmy was dead. He needed a replacement. Gloria still hated me.

It was Johnny. He somehow made his way over here, tears in his eyes, yelling at Whatsername for a reason I couldn't make out since it was muffled too much. My heart fell to my stomach as I laid eyes on him… I couldn't…I just couldn't….

"_I'm done…I can't do it anymore…"_

"_Why?" I asked, trying to stop myself from shaking._

"_J-Johnny's gone…" Jimmy whispered, the gun clutched even more tightly in his hand._

"_It's not a reason to kill yourself!"_

"_You don't know what this is like…" I heard him cock the gun, scaring the shit out of me._

_Silence._

_BANG._

I just stared at the two, who had stopped their petty lover's spat and stared right back at me. I started to back up, in shock and pain, making sure to hide my wrists before someone noticed.

"Christian…" Whatsername sighed, happy to get out of the conversation. "Are you ok?"

"What the fuck is he doing here?" I asked angrily, refusing to make eye contact with Johnny.

"Christian, I wanted to talk to you…" he quietly mumbled, looking at his feet. "No one told me that Jimmy…" he began to cry again. "that Jimmy died….."

"Well whose fault is that?" I retorted almost cruelly. If he wanted to be involved in Jimmy's life, why did he hurt him so badly.

The tears were flooding his eyes by now, unable to control himself. "Please… I-I don't know what do. I loved him so much…"

"It's your own fucking fault he's dead! He killed himself because of you!" I didn't care how he reacted, I just ran back to my room, slamming the door shut behind me.

I grabbed my phone from the pocket of my dirtying jeans and just threw myself onto the bed. I dialed the ever familiar number and waited for an answer. I was ready. I could do this. For Jimmy.

Gerard's freshly-woken raspy voice rang from the other line. "Hello?"

"It's Christian. Get the dope. St. Jimmy's making a comeback. Tonight."

* * *

><p>I don't even know why I did it. I knew I didn't want to take his place, but I had to. He had to be avenged somehow… So wherever he was now, he knew that he was still cared for. That he might have had something to live for…<p>

I changed into clean clothes, all in black, just like he used to. It was like a signal. It's how they knew you were there. I spiked my hair up as high as it could go, its dark brown being infiltrated by a single menacing streak of blond. Needless to say….I looked like Jimmy.

I looked at myself one last time, just to make sure everything was perfect. Only my bare skin shone through to me. Piercing-less. Tattoo-less. I looked like a wimp. No one would respect me if I looked like a fucking virginal schoolboy. It would have to do for the first night… There were desperate junkies already lining the streets, waiting for me, their savior. As overwhelming as it seemed…I was calm.

By the time I made it over to Gerard's place, he was already as high as a kite. He was half-sprawled over his couch, a movie playing loudly even though he wasn't watching it. His girlfriend let me in, rolling her eyes as he let out a loud laugh when I walked in.

"Well, hello, Saint. Glad to have you back." He smirked, hugging me quickly, eyeing me up and down. "You look just like him."

"That was the plan…" I semi-smirked, looking at the television after a loud noise had come from it, startling the both of us. "_In Treatment_ again?"

"Of course…" he responded with a stupid, high smirk of his own. "Shall we go lead those lost souls to salvation?"

I nodded and full-out smiled this time. "Let's do this…"

As of tonight, I was the resident leader of the lost and found.

I was a god to them. They worshipped the fucking ground I walked on. People throwing themselves at me, handing me wads of cash after wads of cash just for that little packet of powder that their bodies craved so much. I made my way through my route in no time, much faster than Jimmy had been towards the end.

Once we were finished, Gerard took me and a huge group of other people out to celebrate the new addition to the legacy. They cheered for me as I walked them. I was getting such a high just from being the center of their attention. But then I shot up along with them…. It hit my body hard, since I hadn't shot up in weeks, but my body wanted it anyway. It craved it…

I still remember the first time I shot up…

_I was about thirteen. I had been with Jimmy for a year and nothing could've been better. He gave me a place to stay, clothes to wear, food to eat and some of the best fucking times in my life. I had been following him around to his routes since the day I met him. I saw him hand out the white powder, wondering why the customers wanted it so badly and why Jimmy wanted it himself._

_We were sitting home one day, about to go out on his daily routine, when I suddenly asked, "What is that?" I pointed to the little bag of the drug that he was about to inject into himself._

"_Aren't you a little young to be worrying about that?" He asked, ignoring me and shooting up._

"_I'm just….curious."_

_He grabbed the bag and handed it to me and explained. "It's heroin. Dope. Highly addictive. But the rush is so fucking worth it."_

"_Why do they want it so bad?"_

"_Because they're addicted. They can't get enough of it and their bodies need it. Which means more of a profit for us, kid."_

"_Why do you use it?"_

_He shrugged and let the high hit him. "I dunno….takes away all the shit, you know? It helps…"_

_I nodded, waiting a few elongated seconds before quietly asking, "Can I try it?"_

_He nodded, grabbing the syringe and cleaning it off quickly. "Be my guest." He prepared the powder, melting it in a spoon over a lighter, pouring it perfectly into the syringe, making sure that it was perfect and clear. He took the band from around his arm and tied it around my own, finding a vein immediately. "Wow, kid, you were born to be a junkie…" he laughed, preparing the needle for penetration. And before I knew it, the needle was in, a warm feeling enveloped my body….it felt almost too good. I stayed strong for a minute until the nausea began. Clutching my stomach, my body began to shake a bit, not used to this intensity._

"_How do you like this?" I asked, my voice shaking as well._

"_It's tough on your first try…you're not used to it."_

_I shook my head and looked up at him with a straight face. "I'm never gonna shoot up heroin again…"_

_Too bad that didn't last…_

I was stoned off my ass by now. And so was everyone around me, now drunk as well. A drunken and even more stoned Gerard finally stood up in the middle of the room and raised his glass high in the air, shouting over the noise of everyone in the bar.

"To Christian! St. Jimmy's fucking back, bitches!"

Everyone let out a loud cheer and I received a few pats on the back and other congratulatory gestures. There was this sexy-looking girl who smiled and made her way over to me.

"So, apparently I hear you're just like Jimmy…"

I shrugged and replied, "Then you heard right…."

She moved in a little closer, definitely invading my personal bubble. "Well, then….are you just like him in bed too?"

I knew I was getting laid tonight. I winked and answered smoothly, "We'll just have to find that out then, won't we?" She threw me a flirtatious wink and grabbed my hand, leading me out of the bar. I guess we were going to my place. I had no clue. I was stoned out of my mind….

But we found my street, giggling and laughing like a bunch of drunk idiots that we were. I looked up at the building across from mine. There in the window was the familiar blonde and green hair staring at me. Gloria.

My stomach seemed to twist as I chuckled to myself, finding a rock on the ground and throwing it at her window. I did this a few times before I got any sort of reaction from her. I laughed at nothing and just shouted into the air, not caring how late it was. "HEY GLORIA!" That got her attention. I watched as she opened her window and looked down at me.

"Christian?"

"SAY YOUR PRAYERS AND LIGHT A FIRE! WE'RE GONNA START A WAR!"

She shook her head and rolled her eyes at me. "Are you drunk?"

"And stoned….and horny." I threw a wink at the other girl who still stood next to me. But my eyes were still on her. "We have room for one more if you wanna join us, babe."

"You're ridiculous…" she groaned, going to shut her window.

"WELL FINE,BITCH! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE FUCKING MISSING!" I just heard her window slam shut as I threw both my middle fingers up to her. I turned back to my girl and led her into my building.

Who gave a shit about fucking pure Gloria?

* * *

><p>I woke up the next morning, my entire lower body sore. I had no idea how long I fucked that girl for, but it was getting back at me now. She was still sleeping next to me. My head wanted to explode. I had the world's worst hangover….<p>

Oh shit….is this my life?

_Dear Jimmy,_

_I'm fucking loving this. I'm wanted here. I'm loved. They all want me. They worship every little thing I do and I can get away with anything. I don't see how anyone could not love this life. I've gotten everything I ever wanted all in one night…. Except for Gloria. Yeah, I was a jackass to her last night… She knows I'm full of shit. But she thinks I'm cute…or was it the opposite?_

_Whatever… _

_-Christian_

**A/N: awwww….**

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	5. There Is No Place Like Home

**A/N: Blah…I have nothing to say about this soooooo…xP yeah! **

**Happy mother's day I guess… whoo.**

**So yeah! Read on read on….**

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"Christian?" I heard a knock on my door, making my heart race as I shot up from bed. It was Whatsername's voice from the other side. She had no idea what I did last night. She would be so disappointed if she did…What did I do? "Babe, you awake?"

I stammered and answered, "Y-Yeah…I am."

She grabbed onto the doorknob, twisting it slightly. "Can I come in?"

"No!" I retorted hurriedly. That girl -I don't even know what her name was—was still sleeping next to me. Something that Jimmy would totally do. Whatsername wasn't ready for someone to break her heart again. She wasn't ready for someone to break her trust. She wasn't ready for another Jimmy.

_She watched yet another one of his random fuck buddies leave the house as she glared at him. "Haven't changed a bit, huh?"_

"_What the fuck is that supposed mean?" Jimmy asked, hurriedly glaring over at me to make sure I was asleep. I wasn't._

"_Nothing…I just thought you might've learned by now…" She shrugged and took a seat at the little kitchen table. _

"_That was nine years ago…" he rolled his eyes, sitting on the arm of the couch. "You know I don't love you anymore, Rebecca…" That was the first time I had ever heard him call her by her real name. "I have Johnny."_

"_And you cheated on him. What does that say about you?"_

_He just took a long pause and glared at her. "That meant nothing…"_

"_The boy goes out of town for one weekend and you-!"_

"_Would you shut the fuck up?" he defensively yelled at her._

"_I just don't want to see him get his spirit destroyed the way I did!"_

"_You already did that to him, fucking bitch…." He muttered under his breath, yet completely audible._

_I remember hearing a long silence afterwards. A few deep breaths coming from Whatsername. Then her storming from the room…_

"Christian, let me in!" she shouted, going to open the door once more.

"No! Just let me-!" But I sighed. My fight was hopeless. "Fine…"

I watched the doorknob twist as she entered the room, her jaw ajar immediately after she laid eyes on me. Disheveled hair, bloodshot eyes, track marks up my arm, a hangover like you wouldn't believe, and some slut in bed next to me. Right now, I wasn't in Christian mode. I was still in Replacement-Jimmy mode.

"What the fuck is going on?" she yelled at me, waking the girl up. She groaned and threw her arms around me. "Who is that?" Whatsername asked angrily, remembering having this exact same conversation with Jimmy ever weekend.

"I dunno…" I shrugged, draping my one arm around her shoulder.

"You look like shit, Christian."

"Same to you…" I smirked, feeling all the more like him.

"What's gotten into you?" She glared at me, saying that she was gonna kill me later.

"Well, I have to act like this. It's what they want."

"Who?"

"The clients…" I lowered my voice and lured her in slowly. "St. Jimmy's back, babe…"

"St. Jimmy is dead, Christian." She growled back at me. "He's rotting in fucking hell right now! There's nothing you can do to bring him back!"

"Shut up, you fucking bitch!" I pushed her away from me, watching as she took a moment to just breathe and compose herself. She had the smallest traces of tears in her eyes, the smallest look of fear.

"Get out…."

"What?"

She sighed and yelled even louder. "I said get out! I don't know what's wrong with you, but I can't help you. You need to pack your things and get the fuck out of my house. Right now. Send your whore on her way…" She glared over at the nameless girl, who scoffed at her angrily. "I want you out of here by the end of the day."

"B-But-!"

"You heard me, Christian…" and she walked out, slamming the door shut.

* * *

><p>It was about eleven in the evening. . I was all packed up, standing outside the building after making my rounds again. I was waiting for Gerard to show up. He said he would pick me up and take me to his place so that I'd have somewhere to stay until I could find a place of my own. I sighed, kicking over my bag. How could I have been so goddamn stupid? I let myself ruin all I had left…<p>

But while I was immersed in self-pity, I couldn't help but to hear a faint sob coming from across the street. I stopped what I was doing and I went to see what this was all about. There on the front steps of the apartment building was Gloria, crying her eyes out, bags upon bags in her hands. I knew something was wrong. I needed to know she was ok…

I carefully walked over to her, making sure I went unnoticed. "Hey." I whispered quietly, placing my hand on her shoulder.

She gasped and turned around only to find me there. "Go away…"

"Are you ok?"

"So now you care?"

I sighed, taking a seat next to her, my hand still lingering on her shoulder. "Look, Gloria…I'm sorry. I was a total jackass to you last night."

"I just…" She shook her head, brushing my hand off of her.

"I was fucked out of my mind. I didn't know what I was doing…"

She nodded, giving me a quiet apology. She wasn't in the mood to fight with me today. "Going somewhere?"

I nodded back, smirking slightly. "Got kicked out. What's with your bags?"

"I-I…" she sniffled, the tears starting again. "I'm running away…"

My hand was back on her shoulder. She didn't seem to care. She kept it on her. "Why?"

Her tear stained face made its way onto my shoulder. As sadistic as it seemed, I liked this helpless, hurt puppy of a Gloria. She was much more willing to accept my affection. And give her own. "M-My mom is getting remarried…She never even told me she had a boyfriend. She promised me when my dad died that no one would ever replace him."

"I'm so sorry…" My arms snaked around her, allowing her to hide her face in my shoulder. "Both my parents are dead too…I don't even know how it happened…or why I lived… But I told myself every day that even if I did get adopted that it wouldn't be the same… it's like the same thing."

She nodded and wrapped her own arms around me. "I just… I just want someone there for me. Someone who understands this… no one is ever there…"

"I'll be there…" I whispered to her, right in her ear, calming her sobbing self. "I…I love you, Gloria."

"Wh-what?" She pulled away from me, her tear-stained face staring right at my own.

But without saying anything, I pulled her to me, my lips gently meeting hers. I could feel her struggling subsiding as she how gentle and loving my kiss was. She completely gave in to it. "Come with me, Gloria…" I kissed her yet again, this time my fingers getting tangled in her long blonde hair. "Run away with me… We can be together… we can skip this shithole of a town tonight…."

But this is when she pulled away, looking uncomfortable. "No… Christian, I-I…."

"Please?"

I saw her pause for a moment , then sigh loudly, nodding. "Fine… I'll come with you… But what about your job? Isn't that gonna interfere with this?"

I can't believe she said that…. My eyes widened and my breathing shallowed. This relationship was going to interfere….

"I'll make sure it doesn't…. " I replied, barely audible. I grabbed onto her hands and looked her straight in the eyes. "I love you… so much."

She uncomfortably looked around, making sure that she was alone with me. "I love you too, Christian… I have since the day we met. But I'm just so…"

"It's ok…" I smiled for the first time in forever. "It's over…"

She let a smile of her own crack. But just as I went to kiss her again, I heard a horn beep at the both of us, followed by the sound of Gerard laughing at me. He was here. I helped her load her bags into the car, putting mine in as well, and before I knew it, we were speeding away together…

* * *

><p>I woke up the next morning, vision blurred, an awful headache. From what I could tell I was in Gerard's apartment. The room smelled like cheap beer and pot. I was hungover again, the track marks up my arm fresh and red. Another normal night of partying….but then I looked down.<p>

There was Gloria. Hair wild and disheveled, all clothing completely gone and sleeping on my chest. There were two fresh red dots in the center of the arm that held her to me. I began to panic.

She groggily woke up and smiled when she saw my face, laughing in such an un-Gloria-ish manner. "Morning, stud…" She ruffled my hair then kissed me, her tongue just about literally down my throat.

But I had to pull away…

What the fuck happened last night?

**A/N: dun dun dun…Cliffhanger…XD**

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